Thursday, March 19, 2015
Going to sleep should be easy--but it's not. The minute my head hits the pillow, my mind starts going over my day, reminding me of the assignments I need to complete for the week, and checking that I've done all my homework that's due tomorrow. If I remember a project that's due in a couple days, I have to get up, go across the room, and set a reminder on my phone, telling me to work on it the next day. Even though I know I won't actually forget to work on it, the little voice in the back of my head tells me otherwise. This sometimes happens two or three times. It's very frustrating.
Once I've set enough reminders for myself, I start to think about all the work I have ahead of me. Then, all the worries about not being able to get it done begin to overwhelm me. It's so much work! I'll never finish it! WHY DIDN'T I START IT THIS AFTERNOON WHEN I HAD TIME?! All the panicking that should have come earlier, when I actually had time to do anything, only starts once I've resigned myself to going to bed. I take a couple deep breaths and remind myself, You'll do it tomorrow. For now, there's nothing you can do but sleep.
Okay. So everything I could possibly freak out about has been freaked out about. Now is when my brain decides to get creative and come up with ideas for stories, characters, entrepreneurial activities, and countless other projects. None of this inspiration came earlier, when I was sitting in front of my computer, ready to get those creative juices flowing--it always has to come when I'm trying to sleep. Then, of course, I have to scrounge up a notepad and write everything down, in case I forget it--which I never do.
Now that I've finally set three reminders for the next day, had a mini breakdown, and scribbled down all my ideas, maybe I can go to sleep. Or maybe I'll have to lie awake for another half hour, before I finally get comfortable and sleep overtakes me. It usually takes me 20-40 minutes to fall asleep. When I've had a long day, and all I want to do is be rested enough to wake up without too much effort at 6:20 the next morning, it can be really frustrating to be unable to go to sleep immediately.
Does anyone else have this problem--where your head suddenly goes crazy right when you're trying to go to sleep? It happens for me most nights, unless I'm super tired.