(now a major motion picture).
1. Getting them on hurts the worst. When they first put your brackets on and tighten those awful wires; that's when your mouth is going to be the most sore. They told me it would hurt for at most, four days. It hurt for eight. For the first week, you won't be able to eat anything remotely crunchy, and most things will have to be chewed in the very back of your mouth, where it hurts the least. When you get them tightened every six or so weeks after that, you'll be sore for a few days, but it will never be as bad as that awful first time.
2. Once you get braces, everyone feels at liberty to tell you how crooked your teeth used to be. Maybe this is just me, but I found that once I got my braces on, suddenly everyone seemed to feel free to admit that before my front teeth were definitely crooked. It's one of those times when you're like, Should I be offended or not? Fortunately, it doesn't bother me that much. My teeth straightened out pretty quick after I got them on, and I know they weren't perfect before, so I like to think that when people tell me how crooked my teeth used to be they're just giving me a very oddly-worded compliment.
3. Braces will kill your toothbrush. I wish I could take a photo and show you how banged up my toothbrush is right now, after less than a month of using it. The bristles get caught in your brackets, and are constantly being torn out and thrown askew. If you think of a toothbrush as a head of hair, mine has 100% split ends. Nowadays I have to replace it a lot more than I used to.
4. Your orthodontist will never be satisfied with your brushing. Orthodontists are like dentists. Every time you go into the office, they cluck their tongue and tell you that you have hoards of plaque in between your teeth and that you need to angle your toothbrush more and how many times a day do you even brush? Two? NONSENSE! I have five steps of dental care I go through every night, and still it's never enough for my orthodontist. WILL I EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH?!
5. Your orthodontist will warn you about the dangers of candy. But, if you are like me, you will eat it anyway. I popped two brackets in one week, after Halloween. If you non-braces folks don't know what that means, basically two of my brackets came unglued and just kind of slid around on the wires, not doing any work to help straighten out my teeth. It doesn't hurt, but it really makes me paranoid. I've popped three brackets in five months. (I'm trying to be careful, I swear!)
So there you have it. The truth about braces, plain and simple. All the action and adventure you didn't pay for! Hurrah! There are a lot more things I could say about braces (wax, soreness, when your orthodontist doesn't give you colors even though all your other friends have them and…okay, calm down, Ella) but I think this post is long enough.
Oh yeah, and I'm getting glasses. Turns out I'm nearsighted. The end.